Most Catholics rarely evangelize and when they do, it may not be in the most effective manner. If you are a Catholic disciple and would like to become a better evangelist, then hang on to your hats, because I fully believe in the tactic I want to explore with you below. Is it fool-proof? Of course not. But, it is effective, impactful, and anybody can use it. I have many stories of how it has helped me be a better evangelist. But, before we get into the weeds, we have to lay some groundwork. 

Most Catholic disciples fall into one of several buckets on living out the call to evangelize, which include:

1. Those who believe acts of service do all the talking and we don’t need to use words. We can call these the “St Francis never said it Catholics”, who operate by the phrase which is (incorrectly) attributed to St. Francis - “share the Gospel always, and when necessary, use words.” If we are honest, most who operate in this manner never use words. At least not in 99.9% of the opportunities they have to share their faith.
2. Those who would rather walk on lava than talk about Jesus with others. In other words, it is impolite, bad, or (as a large percent of millennials and other young people believe) immoral to do so.
3. Those who want to prove all the Protestants, non-Christians, and atheists wrong by arguing them into submission. These are the ones who use words, but only as a hammer, to bludgeon their opponents with arguments to show they are right and others are wrong.
4. Those who put their heads down and mostly, if not fully, ignore the call to evangelize. No words, no deeds, and little (or no) faith.
5. Those who try their best to evangelize, using their gifts and circumstances, whatever God calls them to. They might fail, mess up, skip some chances to respond, or do it badly, but still they understand that they must share their faith in order to continue to follow Jesus faithfully.

Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list, but it gets to the heart of the matter - most Catholics don’t evangelize. Most who read this blog are most likely in the 5th category. I hope that is the case with you. If so, I hope you will find this strategy helpful.

ALAR PROCESS
I use the acronym ALAR for the process I am proposing. It stands for:

• Ask / Listen / Assess / Respond

It is a process that we have probably used throughout our lives in various situations and relationships. Still, if we deeply understand each step as a part of a strategy to evangelize others, we can intentionally find more opportunities to evangelize.

I will first go through each step of the process and then spell out ways to apply it. 

Ask
When we evangelize, we ought to ask more questions than the other person. In some ways, this is counter to the way in which many Catholics operate when they attempt to evangelize. I certainly had to relearn how to do this (and am still working on it). As someone who is been asked questions frequently about Catholicism, sometimes I assume I know what someone needs to know. This isn’t always the case. In fact, we can’t assume we know what someone believes, where they are spiritually, or what questions they have - until we ask them about these things. Notice that Jesus frequently used this tactic. What others thought would be a Q&A session was suddenly changed, when Jesus turned it into a Q&Q session.

Most people of the 21st Century aren’t asking particular questions about Catholicism. They are asking big existential questions about meaning, purpose, identity, truth, goodness, etc. If you want some sample questions - I have some at the end of this post as an additional resource.

The principle that best supports this step in the ALAR process is:

• Fruitfulness is named more than numbered. Jesus never thought it was a waste of time to invest in a person who was honestly seeking truth, goodness, or beauty. If someone had even a basic desire to dialogue, then Jesus would talk to them. We need to as well. It isn't about big events, classes, or programs. It is about each person. Jesus spent 75% of his recorded time in the four gospels with 12 men. That is naming his fruit! Peter, Andrew, James, John, etc.

Listen
What I have found works well when evangelizing others is to truly listen to where they are coming from. Not in order to prove them wrong, but rather to accept the person who is in front of you as a human, made in God's image and likeness, and uniquely made to glorify His name. When we are able to do this, we can marvel in their creation and truly love them where they are at, and then (possibly) help them grow closer to God. Conversion is done with free will and thus it takes the other person's consent to God's grace. To put it bluntly, the one doing the evangelization is the least important party in the drama. The one being evangelized and God are much more important! Furthermore, it isn’t our job to convert anyone – we can’t! Only God’s grace, chosen through a free act of the other person’s will, can elicit faith. Thus, I am a limited instrument in the hand of God, who is called to love the other person and help them grow closer to God.

True love for another person means I will always seek their good, and asking good probing questions can help me understand how best to help them grow, but only if I listen to understand. Furthermore, we have to slow down and work on relationships more than just having the right answer. Over-talking is a real problem with many evangelists, myself included.

Still some believe that our faith is something very private that shouldn’t be shared, in order not to offend or seem too pushy. It is the Catholic version of “don’t ask, don’t tell”. This attitude comes from a culture that believes faith is something we do part-time or compartmentalize. Unfortunately, this attitude creates a culture of silence, where we don’t talk about our faith at all. As many others have responded to this – our faith is always personal but never private. Imagine if the Apostles had never talked about their faith. We wouldn’t have any Christians today.

The principle that best supports this step in the ALAR process is:

• Understanding does not necessitate acceptance. You are listening to understand the other person, not necessarily accept what they believe, do, or think!

Assess
After we ask questions and listen, we need to start to assess where a person is on their spiritual journey. This is the hardest part for many people who are just starting to work on sharpening their evangelization skills. But, it might be one of the most important steps. If we don't know where they currently are, we don't know what they need or how we ought to respond.

I highly recommend you study the different thresholds of conversion, discussed in the amazing book “Forming Intentional Disciples” by Sherry Weddell. These thresholds (trust, curiosity, openness, seeking, and intentional discipleship) can help you determine which questions are appropriate for individuals who are in different places and with different needs. Furthermore, you can look at our Stages of Discipleship for those who are already disciples. The video in this link will also walk you through a basic guide for how to apply this principle.

But, don't stop merely with knowing where someone is spiritually. Now you need to respond appropriately.

The principle that best supports this step in the ALAR process is:

• Never accept a label in place of a story. Just because someone says they are an atheist, doesn’t mean they don’t believe in a higher power. While that seems inconsistent, many self-identified atheists believe in some kind of god, gods, or the one true God. This goes for any label. A “devout Catholic” might not believe in the Eucharist or go to Mass. Ask, Listen, and Assess - but don't assume.

Respond
A response is where you tailor evangelization to the individual. Some appropriate responses include:

• taking the time to build a long-term relationship, in order to build trust and earn the right to be heard.
• proclaiming the kerygma and inviting a response.
• radical hospitality and friendship.
• giving your testimony.
• casting a long-term vision of what it means to follow Jesus and helping them to "count the cost" of being a disciple.
• serving others, without expecting repayment.
• allowing them to walk away (at least for a time).

All of these (and more) are appropriate responses for different people. We won't know what another needs until we have asked questions, listened, and assessed where they are and what they need.

Response is a weak-point in many Catholic evangelists' lives. We tend to stop short and think that living a good life or being externally disciplined is enough to attract others to Jesus. While living a virtuous life is indispensable, we cannot avoid going to the next step, even if it pushes us to be a bit uncomfortable.

The principle that best supports this step in the ALAR process is:

• Success in evangelization is faithfulness to the mission, not just making converts. You aren't in control of anything but your own "yes" to the call Jesus has made for you to go and make disciples. Do that. Do it to the best of your ability. Do it faithfully. Then leave the rest in the hands of a sovereign God who wants conversion more than you ever could imagine.

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You and Those Around You
The next step isn’t just to jump first and ask questions later. It is to pray. Ask God to give you his heart and desire to reach others for his sake. Ask him to help you love others enough to get a bit uncomfortable and to change your habits. Ask him to be with you. Then ask a very dangerous prayer - that he might give you the eyes to see the opportunities to evangelize those around you.
He will answer these prayers!

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCE:
Below are some questions I have found helpful in different situations. Note, not all questions are appropriate for every situation. You will have to learn to discern what you should ask and when. 
Questions about life’s meaning / purpose of life / identity / etc.

• Where do you believe humanity came from / what is our origin?
• Where do you find meaning in life?
• What is the source of power?
• How do you define “success”?
• What is your destiny? How do you know this?
• What brings meaning to your life?
• Do you believe in a Higher Power? If so, can you describe this power for me? If not, can you tell me why not?

Questions about truth / values / falsehoods / priorities

• How do you know what is true and what isn’t?
• What are you willing to give your life for?
• What are your highest priorities? How did you arrive at these priorities?
• What are you passionate about? What do you find yourself arguing for or against? Why?
• What do you find most persuasive?
• What are your dreams for life? What do you hope to accomplish?
• What do you mean by describing yourself as ____?

Questions about how to live / how should I act / what is right or wrong

• How do you know right from wrong?
• How do you determine how you ought to act?
• Are there any universal human rights? What are they? How do we determine them?
• Are some acts morally relative?
• Is there anything that is universally moral?
• Where do the problems of humanity / evil come from?
• What is the solution to humanity’s problems / evil?

Another way of categorizing questions is by understanding the different kinds of labels that people apply to themselves and trying to drill down on those labels, to get beyond them and see the person behind the label. Remember to “never accept a label in place of a story”. The story tells you what the label doesn’t! But, the label can be a starting point for a conversation.

Questions for Non Believers (atheists, agnostics, etc):

• Can you tell me about the god you don’t believe in?
• Can you describe what you find most fulfilling about being _____?
• Tell me about God? How do you describe God to others
• What do you know about Jesus?
• If you have heard of Jesus, what do you know about Him?
• What do you think Christianity adds to the lives of others?
• Do you believe in any kind of universal or higher power?
• Have you believed in God in the past? If you did and don’t any longer, why did you stop believing?
• If you did believe in a god, what kind of god would you believe in?

Questions for those from Non-Christian Religions (Hindu, Muslim, Mormon, etc):

• What are the different ways you pray?
• Can you describe what you find most fulfilling about being _____?
• Tell me about God? How do you describe God to others?
• What do you know about Jesus?
• Is there anything about Christianity that you find attractive?

Questions for those Christians who are not Catholic:

• Could you describe what you believe about Jesus?
• Is your faith something your practice every day?
• How would you describe your relationship with Jesus?
• Is there anything about Catholicism that you find attractive?
• What do you know about the Catholic Church

Questions for those who are Catholic:

• Can you describe what it means to be Catholic, in your experience?
• Do you have a personal prayer life? If so, how do you pray?
• Is God someone you would say you have a personal relationship with?
• Have you had any kind of moment when you felt particularly close to Jesus? If so, can you tell me about it? If not, have you ever wanted to?