Periodically, I post in an online ministry forum that discusses evangelization and discipleship. A recent post asked this question (paraphrased by me):

"We have many youth and young adults in our parish. We know they are not engaging with traditional advertising / marketing (bulletins, announcements, etc.) How should we advertise our programs and events in a way that engages them?"

“Herein lies a quirk of Catholic culture. Catholics ask about advertising events, when what those folks are looking for is relationships, community, belonging, etc.

We need to break this culture that disembodies ministry.”

I will explain my response a bit more below, but first, allow me to explain the good, bad, and ugly about parish ministry that is based on programs.

THE GOOD

Most parishes work on a fall / spring / summer programming model. Aside from major liturgical seasons like Lent / Advent / Christmas / Easter, the scheduling mirrors academic calendars of children in schools. Thus, most parishes have a bit of a break at the time I am posting this, because it is in between spring semester and summer break. Programs in parishes are generally built to be used in this kind of calendar. This is a good thing, because it works around the schedules of most people instead of fighting against it, meeting people where they need to be engaged in their schedules. 

Programs also have the ability to “teach” ministry to many people. They offer safe places to practice pastoral skills. Thus, you can run an Alpha program and learn how to listen and engage in a more robust manner. You can run a small group Bible study and learn how to lead small groups. You can teach a class and learn how to teach doctrine. These opportunities are good stepping stones for pastoral skills that many Catholics don’t have unless they are part of the programs at a parish.

Programs are also easy for people to dip their toes into the water at a parish. They offer an opportunity beyond the Sacraments and socials to do something a bit more. In most parts of our ministry models, we see that the “next step” is to “get involved” and that generally means going to a program / class and then later on helping run these same programs / classes. 

Of course this doesn’t exhaust that good things that programs offer to individuals or institutions. But, it does give a sampling of some of the good things that are byprocucts of our current parish models that rely on programs, events, classes, and Sacraments as the bedrock of what we do. But, are there also some things we can improve? Absolutely. In fact, I think there are much better models.

THE BAD

There are several bad things about our current programmatic parish models. I would like to focus on just a few. 

First, programs generally remain behind institutional thresholds. This means that most of what we do is done at the parish for the parishioners who go to Mass already. While this is good for those that show up, what about the others who never do anything but go to Mass? What about the people that never go to church at all? Remember, that the parish doesn’t exist merely for those who are already engaged and go to church. It is for EVERY person in the parish boundaries. What are we doing to reach them? Can a program help us in this? If so, how? If we are to be a people on mission to our communities, then we need to think beyond the walls of our parishes and, for the most part, parishes don’t help us do that.

Second, programs, events, and classes aren’t what most people are looking for. Most people want to be engaged. They want someone to care for them and love them. They want meaningful relationships. They are searching for meaning and purpose. For some, the programs we run at our parishes might provide these things. But, for most people, this isn’t happening. The Catholic Church has, for the most part, woven a culture where friendship, community, and meaningful relationships have largely become secondary to “getting involved”. We have allowed “being active”, running programs, going to events, and gathering in large groups to replace what we need, true friendship. There is nothing wrong with these things, but they can’t create meaningful relationships in and of themselves. Decades ago, before people moved frequently and urban areas were nameless - the institutional parish had an easier job at forming communities. It was more neighborhood based and people were more connected to one another. They knew their neighbors and those that sat next to them in Mass. That isn't the case any longer.

There are many reasons this may have happened. One of the reasons is the “me and Jesus” movement that is part of our American culture. This idea, which has long been a part of American Protestantism, has seeped into the Catholic Church. Yes, we are supposed to have a personal relationship with Jesus. But, as I have written about previously, we are also meant to have a relationship with his Church! We need both - Jesus and Me + You and Me. The problem is when you leave one relationship out, we miss something. Without Jesus, you miss everything. Without community, you miss the fullness of Jesus and what love is like on this earth.

THE UGLY

We have settled for a laissez-faire kind of Christianity, which doesn't shake us up, challenge us, or push us to grow. Yes, there is that periodic conference, retreat, event, or program for the really dedicated Catholic. There are also a growing number of small groups that go a bit deeper. But, even with these, there are few that really know what it means to be accountable, tell the truth, pray together, confess sins to one another (as well as in Confession), grow in holiness, and be pushed into the mission fields. That is what Christian community should really look like. It should make us want more!

We haven’t had that for a long time. The models we are currently operating under haven’t worked in generations and yet we are still clinging to them as if they have the answers for us. They do not. We need to change, but I see so many good Catholic leaders that want to change, but don’t know what to do, where to start, or who to turn to. What do they do? Turn to the next program, video series, run another class, or look to what “worked” at another parish. Yet, nothing really is impactful to the depth they want. 

This parish culture that is stuck in models that don't work is reflected in the question that was asked in the online forum I am part of. It is the wrong question. We shouldn't be asking how we fit a new generation into our outdated models of ministry. Rather, we need to ask how we ought to change our models to meet the needs of today!

This is when things can get ugly, because institutions and leaders get stuck in a rut and discouraged. So, what do we do about it?

THE ANSWER

First of all, if you are lonely, you need to know your own self-worth. You are loved. You are valuable. You are worthy. You are redeemed. You are not an orphan. You are a daughter or son of a Father who loves you infinitely. Don’t ever forget these truths. Sit with them in prayer. Meditate upon them. Let them inform your heart, once again (or for the first time) of who you truly are. Don’t believe the lies.

Second, if you know others who are lonely and have bought into such lies, then remind them of their self-worth. Invest in them. Start to initiate in the relationship. Build a friendship, then invite deeper. Model what friendship, relationship, accompaniment, and community can be - because most people don't really have an experience of these things.

Third, it is time to get uncomfortable. The average person hates loneliness. I am not talking about being alone, but the feeling of being all alone and separated (emotionally, spiritually, etc) from others. Well, if you are to do something about it, both for yourself and others, then it is time we get uncomfortable and take a few risks. The kind of risks that need to be taken include, leading with vulnerability, inviting people to go deeper with you and Jesus, and running the risk that someone might not respond how you want them to. If you want to read more about what this kind of relationship might look like, you can find more here and here.

Fourth, if we want to build real community, then we need to have intentionality in our relationships. They can’t just stay on the surface, but we also can’t jump into deep issues without being patient with the process of getting to know each other, building trust, sharing vulnerability, having intimacy, then being accountable to one another. It takes time and a proper vision of where you are going. So, what is your strategy and how do you mean to use it? If you need help in developing one, then look to Jesus. He spent a lot of time with folks, grew the relationships, challenged others, held them accountable, let them fail, forgave them, gave them real opportunities to minister to others, etc. We need to do the same. If you want more concrete strategies, then read the links that are posted above.

If you are a leader and want to learn how to do these things personally or as a team, I encourage you to look into CMD Circles or CMD Cohorts.

Remember this, our ultimate goals are:

 -Going to Heaven.

 -Becoming holy.

 -Glorifying God.

 -Bringing others to heaven with us.

This is OUR mission. Programs may help with part of this, but they can’t replace what you and I do as a lifestyle, not just “getting involved” in my parish for a few hours a week!

“You cannot live well without a friend, and if Jesus be not your friend above all else, you will be very sad and desolate. Thus, you are acting foolishly if you trust or rejoice in any other. Choose the opposition of the whole world rather than offend Jesus. Of all those who are dear to you, let Him be your special love. Let all things be loved for the sake of Jesus, but Jesus for His own sake. Jesus Christ must be loved alone with a special love for He alone, of all friends, is good and faithful. For Him and in Him you must love friends and foes alike, and pray to Him that all may know and love Him.”

 -Thomas a Kempis