When another person self-describes as "raised Catholic", what assumptions do you make about them? Many would assume they go to Mass. Others would assume they know Catholic teaching or that they pray regularly. It could mean the person is living like the next St. Teresa of Calcutta. Yet, it could also mean they have never stepped foot inside a Catholic church and that their grandmother was a Catholic and because of her the family has always called themselves “Catholic”. In other words, the label doesn't tell us anything except that the person self-identifies as "raised Catholic". Everything else will need to be figured out.
To further illustrate the issue, what if I told you I am a cradle Catholic, who was raised in a very faithful Catholic family, went to a Catholic school, and now I work in Catholic ministry, what would you assume about my life? Would you know, Jesus hasn't always been a part of my life? Would you know that I had years of rejecting God and living a sinful lifestyle? Not unless you know my story.
This is why we have to be very careful, when evangelizing (or accompanying someone in any stage), that we don't make assumptions about the other person. It is better to stop filling in the blank spaces for others and instead, get to know them. As the phrase goes, "never accept a label in place of a story". It is a very wise saying, because too often we accept the label, because it is easier. We don't have to invest in a relationship or listening if we just accept the label at face-value.
Bad assumptions we may make include:
Instead of making false assumptions, what if we started to operate differently?
What if we stopped filling in the blanks of the stories of those around us and really started to ask deep questions and listen attentively?
What if the only assumption we made was that we can't assume anything about someone?
What if we invested deeply in others and started to really learn where they are, what they need, and how we might assist them in growing closer to God?
Think of how you might operate differently, even amongst other staff members or highly-involved volunteers at your parish. This lack of assumption could lead to a healthier culture, where we all started to look for opportunities to minister to one another. We would start to truly hear what others are saying and respond appropriately, to meet the needs of others, rather than just filling in the blank spaces ourselves.
The real challenge is to do this intentionally. So, start to ask yourself some of these questions:
As St. Rose of Lima said:
“Know that the greatest service that man can offer to God is to help convert souls.”
This service, if done well, should be without false assumptions, which can lead to us not evangelizing others in the ways they need us to.