"Well that might be true for you, but not for me.”
I don’t understand relativism and that means that whenever I talk with someone who is a relativist, even in small parts, it is hard for us to connect. I realized this many years ago and had to switch my tactic in order to be more effective in my evangelization. More on that later.

Maybe you have had a similar issue in conversation with those in our modern culture. Maybe it is that you find you are struggling as an evangelist. In this blog post, I will explore some reasons why Catholic evangelists are struggling to evangelize.

1 - We speak different languages, though using the same words. When you use common Catholic words (or faith-based words in general), you might be thinking of radically different things than another person. Even words such as: “Church”, “faith”, “love”, “peace”, and even “God” can be defined in many different ways. Just think of the baggage "social justice" carries with many today. So, what do we mean by these words? Even more important - what do others mean by the words they use? Regardless, we need to define our terms. But, even further, we need to explore what the other person understands these words to mean. This means we can't go into a conversation with expectations in language and meaning.

To really explore another person's thinking, you have to use good listening skills and a lot of wide-open questions. If you don't know what kind of questions might be good to use, then you can find a list of open-ended questions a Catholic evangelist might start with here.

2 - Don’t fill in the blanks for others, but listen for what is really behind their obstacles to faith. If you ask the average Catholic why someone leaves the Catholic Church, they will tell you it is because the person “wasn't catechized well”, they “didn’t understand the faith”, etc. These may or may not be true, we just don't know until we know an individual's reason(s) for leaving. If we make an assumption as to why they left, then we are likely to fail to ask why, listen, and understand. I have had conversations with numerous people who have stopped going to the Catholic Church, including several who have worked for the Catholic Church for many years and have Masters degrees from faithful Catholic colleges. You can’t say these folks haven’t been properly catechized or taught well. So, why did they stop going to Mass?
They were lonely. They were burned out. They didn't find meaning. They didn't find community. They were hurt by leaders. Etc.

Every one of the folks I have talked to left the Sacraments for non-sacramental and non-theological reasons. Now there are certainly some who have left because they had theological issues or weren’t catechized well. Many others have left because they have not had a conversion to Jesus and are not disciples. But, let us not fill in reasons for others. When we come with all the answers and too few questions, we tend to drive others away. We may end up telling them what they need to value, desire, and do - which is a broken model of ministry. Rather, let us seek to understand, serve, and love before we seek to correct and preach. Certainly preaching and correction are laudable - but they should be built upon a strong relationship.

3 - Many Catholic Disciples (and other Christians) don’t have non-Christian friends. Regardless of how many of us want to evangelize others, until we have meaningful relationships with non-Christians, we can’t evangelize them well. So, who are you evangelizing with intention currently? If you can’t answer this question, the first step may be to ask the person at work or the neighbor across the street to a cup of coffee or lunch. This is a much better strategy than inviting them to Mass.

A recent Barna study showed the following sad statistic:

"More than six in 10 non-Christians and lapsed Christians (62%) say they would be open to talking about faith matters with someone who listens without judgment—the top quality they value—but only one-third (34%) sees this trait in the Christians they know personally."

Yet, a non-believer can't talk to a Catholic disicple if they don't know anyone who is willing to be in a relationship with them. This is on us.

4 - We too often see the world through a political lens rather than a Catholic lens. We need to be clear - no political party or politician perfectly reflects a Catholic world view. When we conflate Christianity with politics, we may end up perverting the Gospel. Yes, there are times that Gospel values intersect with politics, but let us not confuse the two. What does it look like if we were to follow the entirety of Jesus’ teaching all the time? There is no political answer to this question.

This isn’t to say we can’t be involved in politics or work for political solutions to cultural or moral issues. But, the problem is when we confuse politics for faith or vice versa. It also hurts our witness to others. You might agree with another person on an underlying value (e.g., help the poor). But, when you disagree on the political solution to the problem and confuse the religious principle with the political solution, you may lose your ability to witness to the Gospel or speak truth into another person’s life.

5 - Mediocrity rarely attracts others. This goes for lukewarm Catholics and lukewarm institutions. Let's start with individuals. The average Catholic in the USA looks too much like everyone else. That is, we just aren't raising up enough world-changing disciples who are holy and on mission. Since this is the case, when a non-believer meets an average Catholic, there is nothing to be attracted to that stands out. The person lives like just about everyone else. On the flip of this reality are the rare few holy Catholic disciples who are intentional about loving others, sharing their faith organically, who initiate in relationships, and are not changed by the culture. These people are attractive to many others, because they live so differently.

As for our institutions - they are perceived as only trying to do things the way we have always done them, not as built for tranforming the world. In some ways, this is a true diagnosis of most Western Catholic insitutions. Few have visionary and bold leadership. Few are having deep impact. These things matter, especially in a culture where young people have been taught to believe that they can literally change the world (think climate change and politics). If the Church isn't casting a big vision of a better and transformed world, what are we doing?

----------
Back to my story from the beginning. Once I realized that I was struggling to understand modern (il)logic of relativism and modern thinking, I started to try something different. Listen and learn. Simple thought, but if I wanted to reach the heart of the person I was talking to, then I needed to know something about how their brain was working, because you can’t love what you don’t know. I also follow the dictum that understanding does not mean acceptance. I learned a lot by not speaking as much and listening more, though for anyone who knows me, I am still working on this.

What about you? What barriers exist to you being a great evangelist and what are you going to do about it?